Shadow From My Past

While I was in Illinois this weekend, my mom called me. She informed me that on March 17, my biological father died. He had stomach cancer and was "delusional" while he was on his death bed. At first, I was confused. I wasn't really sure how to feel. I wasn't sure how I was 'suppose' to feel. I wasn't upset and I didn't cry. I was a little angry but that all passed. For me, he always seemed like just a shadow of my past. Almost like he wasn't real. I felt like he was a character in a book. When I found out that he died it seemed more real.


By Monday I was pretty much over it. Yesterday, my mom asked me to call her, she was furious. I called her right away. She told me that her cousin had told her that during his last days my bio-father was talking about how much he missed his kids. Mom's cousin believed that this is what caused him to drink himself to death. He was an alcoholic before my mother even left him. Over 26 years...

In other news. We go on vacation at the end of June. I'm so excited. We have a very busy week planned. We are going back to my hometown for a couple of days and staying in a cabin at the lake. We are taking a day trip to the beach and then heading to Charleston, SC for a couple of days. It is so beautiful there. We will head back home on Thursday and plan on meeting Matt's mom so we can take the kids to Holiday World. I can't wait!

More tomorrow...

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